Two very different posts from two separate blogs have stuck in My head since first reading them. The first is from Twisted Monk about his experiences at this years Folsom street fair. Reading about his experiences and how he helped someone realize a life long dream, well it was an amazingly touching bit of writing .. I’ll admit to a tear or two. He did something that perhaps not a lot of people would have. But by putting aside his own wants and needs He did give someone a really good and intense experience. It shows that true to what I have always known about this lifestyle is that we are truly caring individuals who just enjoy things a bit kinkier then most.
I will also own up to sometimes finding that same situation when having a session with some of My clients. Some of these men have only ever fantasized about serving a Dominant Woman. Usually at some point during the session there is a rather strong realization that the fantasy has finally come true and the Bitch Goddess they have been worshiping for a moment takes the role of mother and holds them while they weep at finally feeling a bit of acceptance and the knowledge that they aren’t sick or a freak.
Remember I live in the Ozarks, the buckle of the bible belt….It is not easy to admit to having such decadent urges when you live in a town that boasts 5 christian colleges alone.
I find they are the ones who start their initial phone call or email with
”are you really here IN the Ozarks? ?”

They find it so surprising that I am among them. It makes me feel good to know that I have brought that bit of desire a bit closer to being realized for some of them.
The only downside to it all is that one day I am going to have it be a client that is someone I know through My personal life or My family. I wonder how that will all transpire …..


Which brings Me to the next post that really got to me today, it is from Audacia Ray at Waking Vixen .In this she talks about coming out to her parents about her life as she puts it
dirty sex writing about my own sex life, naked modeling, $pread magazine, pieces in upcoming books, all very dirty and very personal

I wish I could just do that with My mother, but there is no way. I don’t think anyone in My family ( except maybe my youngest brother ) who would be OK with the fact I am a sex worker. I am finally starting to get along with My Mom if she were to ever find out it might put Me back to square one. The rest of My family, other then My younger brother they all find Me an oddity since I don’t belong to the same church, social circle or Country club. Nor do I have the same need of outrageous amounts of material things and the hell of credit card debt. I don’t try to keep up with the Jones and I am not a victim of Madison ave Marketing ….
I was told to wear something that covered My tattoos to My younger sisters wedding reception or not to come. This is the same family who ( barring my Mom … who came out of guilt and My younger brother who came because he does care ) did not show up for My wedding out of some sort of rightous indignation over the fact that it was a Pagan ceremony.
(Sometimes I just shake My head and wonder how was I ever raised in that same family. It really does make me smile and wonder at the capricous nature of My pMatron Goddess Eris
Yet they claim themselves good upstanding moral christians who love everyone ( even Me I know they love Me, Like that is another story all together … ) SO no I don’t think they would understand this at all. My following the Grateful Dead in college scared them, this would positively throw them all into fits.
But I truly love what I do ( for example see above..) it makes me feel good to positively affect these Men in regard to their fetishes and desires. Especially since most of them were raised with some pretty messed up ideas about sex and especially there own sexuality. Around here it is hard for men to admit their submissiveness. It is hard sometimes I also think for Woman to admit their Dominance. It is so hellish this demand I see that we stay so rigidly stuck in these gender specific roles. I see the pain it causes a lot in what I do, the men coming in from the farm who just want to be dressed up like a woman and told he is pretty.
Yet if I were to try and get any of My family to truly acknowledge the honest need for what I do they would deny Me till blue in the face and probably hold a special prayer meeting for Me at church. I could move I know to a bigger city, would probably do better money wise. But I would miss My shy farm boys, hats in hand shuffling before calling me Ma’am and stumbling over Mistress in their eagerness to serve. I could move to a bigger city, but I think I am doing fine right here.