I spend a bit of time on the phone every day conversing with clients. I had to share some of the more choice things I have been told this past week.

caller one: ” so when I come to see you Mistress can you dress me up in womens clothing ? ”

Me: ” of course I can. ”

caller one: ” Will you take me out? ”

Me: (… thinking a brief visit to the local sex shop or perhaps the gay bar would be fine) Of course we could go to the bar to have drinks or to the local sex shop for that anal plug you need. ”

caller one: ” NO, I want you to dress me up as a slutty whore then go to My families house. I want you to be My date for My families Christmas dinner. ”

Me: ” I don’t think so, … not a chance. ”

caller one: ” but Mistress I want to be humiliated! ! ! !”

Me: ” while that may sound fun right now. I doubt you want to spend your Christmas dealing with the drama that would bring about. “

caller one: (whiny) “but but it is My fantasy! ! !”

Me: ” That may be, but I think you need to seriously think, in the REAL WORLD not fantasy world, about what this would do to your family to your mother..”

caller one: ” yeh my mother would probably kick my ass”

Me: ” exactly. Why don’t you call Me back when you have a fantasy that involves less fighting and ass kicking and more being the sissy slut I know you are. “

When I hung up from that one I was astounded at the way people take their most extreme fantasies and make them out to some real world truly attainable fantasy. While he could probably do this fantasy it would more then likely cause issues to be talked about at the family reunion for decades to come. Advertising of that nature is not what I need.

I preface this one with the fact that yes he did actually say all this …

Second caller: Mistress can you provide Me with something or someone to fuck once we are done? I understand that you don’t actually have sex with your clients. A Goddess of your stature should never sully yourself with us lower creatures. But could you find Me something?

Me: something?? what do you mean like a fake vagina or something?

Second caller: NO more like that dog I hear in the background or a cat or a calf or something….”

Me: NO… click

A shower was then had and long time spent with My four legged kids telling them I would never let anyone touch them … I draw the line at Bestiality.

This last caller was the most annoying, he I don’t think understood the true idea of a Dominatrix.

Caller three: ” Hey baby I saw your web site And I thought you were so hot. so what are you into? ”

Me: “did you read My web site? ”

caller three: ” yeh but that shit scared Me. I just thought you were hot and I could talk you into some meaningful closeness. “

Me: (sighing) “and just what do you mean by meaningful closeness? ” ( I figured I already knew the answer but hey why not ask to just make sure)

caller three: “you know skin on skin baby. Oh it would be so hot…I just want to fuck you.”

Me: ” for that it would be more money then you will ever see… “click

Sometimes I sit in awe at the sheer stupidity, and weep for the future of man… OK not really weep more like call them names and go on. But every once in a great while it just makes My head hurt at peoples lack of intelligence and ability to read and decipher for themselves. If they could accomplish that, It would save them the embarrassment of calling someone else and sharing said stupidity.

Sphere: Related Content

No Responses to “Idiots with Phones”  

  1. No Comments

Leave a Reply