I have to wonder what I am doing here… I feel bad I haven’t written but so many things have changed. I have too many things on my plate right now, between school and finding time to be with the Dragon, living with Phishmans widow and her son, helping them. Its all a bit overwhelming and it has affected parts of my life I didn’t think it would.

I don’t have the drive that was there when I first started this blog. Or maybe its like so many other things in my life,
I got bored.
Not of the blog but of writing about sex. Now mind you I love sex, and the more I get the happier I am, but that is just between the Dragon and myself.
As far as writing about it, I just don’t have it in my right now. For that matter I don’t really have much to write about that other then the Dragon and I. Since I am not at this time really working as a Pro Domme ( no dungeon ) and the Phone work is so random … hell most of the calls I get are when I am in class. So I had to choose, I chose school.
It is very important to me to do this, to finish, to get a degree.
It has always bothered me that I did not finish the first time. I know I had it in me, I just didn’t at that time have the discipline to focus on what needed to be done and not on everything else.

I need this for self validation I guess. To prove to myself that I can do this and succeed at it. Very important, and many a night since going back I have laid in bed shaking at the insanity of it.

What the hell am I doing???
Why did I do this??
Put myself under this kind of stress???

The answer can be summed up quite easily: becuase I have to, if I dont perservere I am going to hate myself for failing ( mind you this is all in my own eyes and how I view myself)
I want to do more then what I have been doing, I want to be a success but in my way and on my terms. For me that includes getting my degree finally, proving to myself once and for all that I can do it.

So that leaves this blog, what is it going to become ? I don’t know… I am going to continue writing but not quite sure what topics I will cover. Perhaps delve more into my own thoughts on being a BBW and what its like especially in this area and on campus. hmmmm maybe write more on my spiritual side and how being a ragin Pagan in the bible belt is not so easy. Hell I don’t know it may be that I muse on daily things much like the Goddess Perhaps I will start rating the hottness of various and sundry Professors on Campus… Actually perhaps not… ( not many hot men on campus teaching..sigh)

But I am going to keep writing…

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One Response to “Think! think! think…”  

  1. 1 Zeppellina

    You`re doing just fine, Mim..!!

    It`s good to drop in and hear how you are doing.
    Sounds like you are getting on with the Degree work, and working really hard. It will all be worth it in the end!
    Plenty of time for things to find their own level,
    and it must seem a bit of a strain just now, but it will get easier.
    I think you are doing really well, and I`m glad you will keep writing for the blog.

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