Find your Bliss Wade!!!

Today my dear friend Wade moved away. I am sad to see him go but happy all the same since I knew that living here was sucking his soul dry. I hope he finds his bliss and is able to be happy. Not much more I could wish then that …well lots of sex would be good. Everyone needs to have good sweaty sex and lots of it all the time. Wade is no exception. So I hope it comes to pass for him.

He had a going away party last weekend, drank way too much Guiness. But I only did one Irish Car bomb, I had learned my lesson after my wedding reception, when I drank so many car bombs I dont remember anything.

It was good to see everyone at Wades party, even the couple I thought I hated and wanted to never see again. I realized that I don’t hate them I was just extremely hurt at their actions and hate was only thing that kept me from completely falling apart at what I saw as their betrayal. But time has passed and I have mellowed towards them. I just wished that that night I had had the guts to walk up to them and say hi. But I didn’t and mores the pity. Underneath it all I am really just a big scaredy cat. I am afraid to find out that my worst fears are true and that I am the horrible person I seem to think I am. Ah Fear and Self Loathing …a lovely thing …I seem to strike out when I feel as if I have been used, hurt or done wrong. Now to me it seems all I am doing is trying to protect my self interests but I guess to everyone else I am the worlds biggest bitch. Who is mean to people when even the smallest slight is imagined. But are they imagined slights or not?

So will I get the nerve up to talk to them, will I remain scared and worried that everyone hates me. Will I stop allowing people into my life that do nothing better then tear me down ( again the issues from xmas )

I dont know

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2 Responses to “Find your Bliss Wade!!!”  

  1. 1 Darling Nikki

    I don’t see how anyone can see you as a bitch Mistress.

    Thinking of You

    Darling Nikki

  2. 2 mim

    heheheheee dear trust Me it is possible

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