I am pulling all nighters lately staying up way past my usual bedtime.

 I realized it is because… 

The end of summer draws near and I am starting to get nervous.

I am going to be starting back to school in a little over 2 weeks.

I am also going to be working full time.

I know many people have had to attend school while working and I know I can do it, I am just scared.

Absolutely petrified about my next math class.

the rest of my semester will be spent in Psych 101, Humanities, and Poly Sci.

Wondering how my view of the world is going to be taken by these new classmates…

A radical Discordian…(all hail Eris), bi sexual, pagan, lover of the herb, deadhead,good music fiend, rainbow sister… (Welcome Home) , tattooed, branded, pierced, radically left of left but just oddly conservative enough to scare people, control loving dominant, hippy freak working for the BIG BOSS MAN.

Looking forward to interesting discussions in all my classes…

So I am mentally contemplating how I am going to map out each day for the next five months

how each block of time will be carefully scheduled checked and rechecked to make sure it is maximized to its fullest for studying etc.

Perhaps this is why I have 5 calenders, 3 always within reach on my desk…

 Along with a myriad of post it notes strewn across my keyboard and monitor reminding me to call people, look for music, research various philosophies, thought processes and half finished ideas about life the universe and everything.

I am by nature a rather inquisitve person. But I am not one who finds it easy to stay focused on any one thing for very long. Last semester I realized I had to do all my homework in layers, do what I know from each subject in short bursts, leaving the hard ones for when next I am on campus and can seek out some tutelage.

I am going to have to stick even more diligently to this task. One known pitfall for me is that fact that I am also not neat and orderly by nature, nor do I wish to be, but this semester will require it.

I can also procrastinate and put off tasks until the last minute, mind you I have always been able to work wonderfully under that pressure when it comes to homework type situations I am still worried about my time and how much I will truly have to devote to all I have to do before me. 

This will be laying the ground work for all semesters to follow.

I must keep my 4.0

I really never thought I would be sitting here in my mid thirties once again worrying about grades…

...When do the pimples show back up ???

I am hoping though, that when the semester is over, I will have proven that this was a task I could accomplish and all this worry was for nought.

But still I am getting nervous.


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