Would it have been that hard for my mom to have picked up the phone and called to tell me happy birthday? Or any of my family for that matter. FUCK ~ ! ! !

It hurts no matter how you slice and you would think that by now at the ripe old fucking age of 37 I would get used to it all. But not me, I am still there like that dog beaten yet creeping back to its Masters knee hoping this time it will be a rub of the head instead of a knock of the fist.

I am lucky I have so many friends and PHAMILY that care but in all brutal honesty it isnt the same. If just once I could honestly believe her when she said she loved me then this wouldnt fucking hurt so much.

FUCK I hate this day and all it has come to mean to me.

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