http://mimredbeard.com/2007/02/16/runs-with-scissors/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:16:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 http://mimredbeard.com/2007/02/16/runs-with-scissors/#comment-8499 mim Fri, 16 Feb 2007 20:41:27 +0000 http://mimredbeard.com/2007/02/16/runs-with-scissors/#comment-8499 Hehe well I am glad to know I am not the only one then. I think a big part of it seems to stem from everyone thinking that we have to be nice and polite all the time. I personally don't think or feel that way, when I am in a bad mood I don't hide it. Hiding it, like i used to do, is what helped me gain all these loverly scars along my inner arms and wrists. Keeping it in can sometimes be worse then letting it out. I too wish there was a happily ever after pill. Right now the only thing that keeps me balanced I swear to the Goddess is a PRN of Marijuana. If I can have just about a pinch hit of pot, it does something chemically to my brain that lets me see past the veil of red that is over my eyes. It somehow slows time down enough internally that I am able most of the time to get a grip and make it past whatever is bringing out my need to hurt someone. But according to everyone I talk to, Pot is bad and its made me this way... and it could do worse. No one wants to admit that it actually could help. that it could be what people in our situation need, not these synthetic chemicals that the drug companies keep foisting off on us. BAH them and there Greed. Hehe well I am glad to know I am not the only one then. I think a big part of it seems to stem from everyone thinking that we have to be nice and polite all the time.
I personally don’t think or feel that way, when I am in a bad mood I don’t hide it. Hiding it, like i used to do, is what helped me gain all these loverly scars along my inner arms and wrists.
Keeping it in can sometimes be worse then letting it out.
I too wish there was a happily ever after pill.
Right now the only thing that keeps me balanced I swear to the Goddess is a PRN of Marijuana. If I can have just about a pinch hit of pot, it does something chemically to my brain that lets me see past the veil of red that is over my eyes. It somehow slows time down enough internally that I am able most of the time to get a grip and make it past whatever is bringing out my need to hurt someone.
But according to everyone I talk to, Pot is bad and its made me this way… and it could do worse.
No one wants to admit that it actually could help. that it could be what people in our situation need, not these synthetic chemicals that the drug companies keep foisting off on us. BAH them and there Greed.

]]> http://mimredbeard.com/2007/02/16/runs-with-scissors/#comment-8496 Mercy Fri, 16 Feb 2007 19:58:45 +0000 http://mimredbeard.com/2007/02/16/runs-with-scissors/#comment-8496 I totally identify with this. That crazy girl inside me with all her rage and violence...I hold her back, and hold her in, indulge her sometimes when it's "safe". Meds have done nothing except make me lose my grip on sanity and control. I just started taking Effexor myself, and I have to agree with you, this stuff SUCKS. Prozac made me even crazier. I wish there was a Happily Ever After pill. I totally identify with this. That crazy girl inside me with all her rage and violence…I hold her back, and hold her in, indulge her sometimes when it’s “safe”. Meds have done nothing except make me lose my grip on sanity and control. I just started taking Effexor myself, and I have to agree with you, this stuff SUCKS. Prozac made me even crazier. I wish there was a Happily Ever After pill.

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