Just Be

Random stranger to me – “What are you doing with your life?”

Me – “Being”

Random stranger – “Being What?”

Me – “Just Being”

Random Stranger - “I don’t get it.”

Me – “Thats the problem.”

I have been mulling over this post at Kate Hardings the Shapely Prose , for the last couple of days. Its a nicely summed up article about the drive to be compete and those of us who don’t feel it. She came used the term of Ferdinand,-as in the bull- which I think perfectly suits this particular mind set or way of being. I personally have never felt the need to compete, I never understood its importance.For me its more about living life and enjoying it. Taking everyday as it comes and then in reflection learning lessons. So many of my friends are eaten up with the race to be best- he who dies with the most toys wins. I consider the race to still be standing and smiling at the end of the day a hella ton more important.

Which makes me think of my second favorite comment from my family.

My first favorite is of course that old weight loss chestnut
“Oh obese daughter-your so smart, and would be so pretty if you would just lose some weight. I mean you have great skin, and gorgeous hair. If you just lost 10, 20, 30 and on and on and on pounds.”
I always wanna ask, “so until I lose the weight I am just the smart one and the little sister gets all the pretty? WOW thanks for that shot of self confidence in the arm.”
But I digress, my second favorite comment from my family is as follows ” you are so smart, you are just not living up to your potential. You are afraid of success. “

HMMMMM no actually I am afraid of clowns, people wearing masks, ventriloquists dummies, magicians, spiders and our current president. But my success nope doesn’t scare me a bit.

What I have realized they see as fear, I realize as boredom- which isn’t really the word I want to use either, but I can’t think of the proper one. I don’t want to achieve the same things they do. That is not my desire in this life. Let me repeat that, that is not MY Desire in this life. Note the use of the word my, indicating me, otherwise known as myself and sometimes I. Its my life, my success is determined by me. Not by my address, my bank account, my car make and/or model, my vacation choices, my lifestyle choices, hell not even my waistline or lack thereof. My success is determined by whether or not at the end of my life I lay on my death bed and I can look at my life as a memory without pain. HAH you say, no one can do that. Everyone has felt pain, or sorrow. I agree everyone has, but how many of you have learned from that feeling. Or better yet how many of you might be the ones laying there regretting things left undone, or not said. That is a life with pain. To realize at the end, you allowed so many other things to obstruct your path, you never succeeded at what you wanted to do. Joseph Campbell put it best when he said we must ” follow our bliss.”

I want to know myself better. I want to love this skin I am in. Every voluptuous curve of it. Its all I’ve got for right now, I should cherish it. Which I will, but not by starving it, and forcing it to try and succeed at goals it was never meant to be attain. I want to learn about my self and the world around me. Rather then fill my life with material things I am pursuing a more intangible goal. I always said I wanted to be a professional student, I think going after a degree in Anthropology is a perfect way to achieve that goal. Spend my time learning about man and why we do things the way we do. Maybe eventually I can study not just Gender roles but the associated issues that come with body type and size.But for now and through all of it, my first and original goal is to Just Be and Just Be in Bliss.

Sphere: Related Content

No Responses to “Just Be”  

  1. No Comments

Leave a Reply