I have to wonder what I am doing here… I feel bad I haven’t written but so many things have changed. I have too many things on my plate right now, between school and finding time to be with the Dragon, living with Phishmans widow and her son, helping them. Its all a bit overwhelming and it has affected parts of my life I didn’t think it would.

I need this for self validation I guess. To prove to myself that I can do this and succeed at it. Very important, and many a night since going back I have laid in bed shaking at the insanity of it.

What the hell am I doing???
Why did I do this??
Put myself under this kind of stress???

The answer can be summed up quite easily: becuase I have to, if I dont perservere I am going to hate myself for failing ( mind you this is all in my own eyes and how I view myself)
I want to do more then what I have been doing, I want to be a success but in my way and on my terms. For me that includes getting my degree finally, proving to myself once and for all that I can do it.

So that leaves this blog, what is it going to become ? I don’t know… I am going to continue writing but not quite sure what topics I will cover. Perhaps delve more into my own thoughts on being a BBW and what its like especially in this area and on campus. hmmmm maybe write more on my spiritual side and how being a ragin Pagan in the bible belt is not so easy. Hell I don’t know it may be that I muse on daily things much like the Goddess Perhaps I will start rating the hottness of various and sundry Professors on Campus… Actually perhaps not… ( not many hot men on campus teaching..sigh)

But I am going to keep writing…

I know I have been M.I.A. from here, I am just having a hard time thinking about what to write.

Do I continue on the same path, talking about all the perverse fun I am a party to… or do I talk about school and the fears I am feeling. I haven’t been in a class room in over 15 years, yet here I am going back and wondering if this is the right thing to do.

I want to end up with a degree in Psychology, I want to help people who are living what we call “alternative lifestyles” let them know there is someone in this area who will listen and not pre judge them based on religious beliefs. I feel like this area could benefit from someone who is truly open minded. But that is a long term goal and one that will take a number of years to achieve.

The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them (this week starting with the letter ‘H’):

Head Case (domequeen.blogspot.com)

Interview? (swelteringcelt.com)

In Today’s Mail (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)

I Want Fingering In the Fast Lane (damnjezebel.com)

KITKAST #1.11 – The Sex Party, Pamela Anderson and Kitkast Field Correspondents (mskitka.com)

Phone Hoing 101: How To Get Into Phone Sex Part 1 (talkingdirty.blogspot.com)

Pleasure Under Foot (4dirtylaundry.blogspot.com)

Reader Question – Threesomes and Infidellity (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

Secret Reads: SexWatts Per Hour (secretbrain.blogspot.com)

Sexual imbalances and what to do (realadultsex.com)

Shrunk Down to Size (radicalvixen.com)

Sight Unseen – Short Fiction by Mr. W (insatiablemrw.blogspot.com)

Simply Beautiful (mimredbeard.com)

Super Hottie From Portugal (eroticandy.blogspot.com)

The Good Girl (chaosnoir.blogspot.com)

The Sacred Obscene (deltaofvenus.blogspot.com)

Tip of the Tongue (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)

zafira and jo on sapphic erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)

A massage (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)

Bloggers Wanted (sugarbank.com)

Join the Sugasm

Cock For Me (sexinga.blogspot.com)

Diana And Darcy On Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)

Buzz Kill: Or, Does “Ugly is as Ugly Does” Also Apply to Vibrators? (sexeteria.blogspot.com)

Girl Interrupted……Ch. 4 (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)

Download this week’s links as HTML (3KB .htm)

When I wrote my cross dressing fantasy, I hadn’t shared it with anyone. Recently though I had the chance to explore the fantasy farther with one of My callers. We discussed its many variables and one he hit on had me intrigued.
When dressing him to be her, I would insert a remote controlled anal plug (without her knowing about the remote controlled part). Once she was seated at the table and had accepted the first drink, I make it buzz…

AH HA she is busted.

She sees nothing so she looks back down, her cell rings and when she answers all she hears is my softly saying,

She immediately starts drinking the tasty beverage before her. I let her enjoy a healthy amount then buzz her again, I do this rather randomly until she is red from arousal. Then I approach and sit down in front of her, the combination of My voice, her realizations and the vibrating in her ass are almost too much and she looks scared at her inevitable punishment.

The other change was actually using My dress belt to spank her when back at the house. Pulling it from the belt loops as I chastised her. she is there before me kneeling, crying and apologizing for disobeying, make up smeared and wig askew. I wrap the end of the belt around my fist and pull her over my lap to administer the harsh punishment.

From there I would have her service My rather large strap on, then my pussy, and My ass, while I played with the controls to the butt plug still firmly in her now on fire ass.

The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them (this week starting with the letter ‘R’):


Real? You decide (swelteringcelt.com)

Reminder of Summer (domequeen.blogspot.com)

Restraint (curvaceousdee.blogspot.com)

Riding the Train (ambientstorm.blogspot.com)

Right Now… (secretbrain.blogspot.com)

Sanctuary (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)

Sitting Behind You (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)

Snowballed (sexinga.blogspot.com)

Stimulate Me, Penetrate Me (insatiablemrw.blogspot.com)

The dancer… (dzerotica.blogspot.com)

The Girlfriend (radicalvixen.com)

The Peach On…. First Times (damnjezebel.com)

Back at Last! (shaysexcolumn.blogspot.com)

Blind Date (anyonesgirl.blogspot.com)

Driving Passions (deltaofvenus.blogspot.com)

Facial pictures… (pornster.blogspot.com)

Fallen (in lust, love, sex, from grace….) (chaosnoir.blogspot.com)

Femme de la cuisine (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)

Girl interrupted……Pt 1 (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)

Gonzo interviews Gonzo Vasili K (sexblo.gs)

House of Sedalia (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)

How to Look Like a Porn Star (sugarbank.com)

I’m not a smoker I’m a midnight toker (mimredbeard.com)

Kendra on Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)

Kitkast Outtakes #1.2 (mskitka.com)

Lexie and Kristin on Sapphic Erotica (simply-saphicerotica.com)

Lina and Rita by Morenko on Met-Art (sensualarousalblog.com)

Looking For That Perfect Pose, Maybe You Can Help? (tirepaddle.com)

Pallet wrap (mnsss.blogspot.com)

Image courtesy The S-Spot.

Links lovingly policed by Sabrina Morgan

He tells Me that he loves the smoky quality of My voice when he listens to me talk. It turns him on to hear the raspiness in My voice as I weave the fantasy, pulling him in deeper and deeper, My voice engrained in his brain. He sees a woman smoking now and he thinks of Me and how I would turn him into My ashtray permanently.
He says ” I bet you smoke camels shorts, or lucky strikes something hard like that, I bet you would love to put that out on My tongue…”
He would describe in detail the scenario and how I would combine My smoking with sexual teasing, sexual tension and most certainly sexual denial. Flogging his hard cock for each flinch or nervous tic to course through his frame each time I crushed another cigarette out on his tongue.

This would go on and on and on … which when played out over the phone is fine.
Its when he started in on the meeting in person and having a pro session I had to cut it short.

Only problem is I don’t and can’t smoke cigarettes. I had smoked pot first, when I was in college, a joint to be exact and that is how I smoked the herb for the first two years I smoked. That was the first thing I had ever tried to smoke.
Not a cigarette but a joint So of course the first time I tried a cigarette, Marlboro red, I fell to the floor hacking up a lung.

I had hit it like a joint, filling My lungs as much as possible with the nastiest taste I had ever known.
From that point on it was Mission Ridiculous for My friends to get Me to smoke at least one cigarette all the way throug with the hacking up a lung procedure.
The only times they could talk Me into this, was when I had already been far to friendly with the shot glass and the Jaeger bottle.
It was a magnificent failure, but they did have fun trying.

So I had to finally let the gentleman know the truth that I do not smoke cigarettes and there was no way I could do it.
My voice just “naturally” sounded like that.

He then asks Me if I might consider starting, because it would make me look so HOT….

What the fuck ever….

In making out My post of things I wish to accomplish in 2006 I forgot one big thing … ROPE BONDAGE

I have never really been into the bondage side of BDSM. Just restrain them and let Me have at it… but lately I have been struck by the beauty that rope bondage can contain. I have been pouring over sites containing images of all manner of tied up folk. It does give more control and it is something I really wish to learn more about.

I am lucky in that My brother Trickster is quite proficient at not only rope techniques but teaching same techniques to someone who didn’t spend copious time in the Boy scouts/ Girl scouts or any other character building group as a child.

It seems only fitting then that I found Twisted Monk.
They are as Monk puts it “makers of the finest hemp bondage rope on earth!”

One of the things I did while following the Grateful Dead in college was make and sale Hemp Jewelry. I used it in sewing, in hair wraps and all manner of decorative things. It is absolutely perfect that I carry that over into My kinky side, by using nothing but the best Hemp rope for My burgeoning interest in Rope Bondage.

I love the fact that he gives you a couple of curious kits to choose from as well as many delicious colors…
I love the crimson it is damn near close to the Red leather Most of My floggers were made from.

So by the end of the year that is yet another skill I want to have under my belt, or at least the beginnings of one. And the fact I can do it with My absolutely favorite natural fiber Hemp, makes it all that much better.

The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them (this week starting with the letter E.)

•Emerging on the other side… (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
•Fuckin’ the old ball and chain (whatsyourpleasure.blogspot.com)
•Kitkast Outtakes #1.1 (mskitka.com)
•Mister Mistress (mimredbeard.com)
•Penis Questions Answered (damnjezebel.com)
•Pretending to be Mrs. Claus (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)
•Quick and Dirty (talkingdirty.blogspot.com)
•Something new to do on rainy days (realadultsex.com)
•StoryTime: blue oriental flowers (secretbrain.blogspot.com)
•Suffering (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)
•Tête-à-Tête (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
•Touching (alwasysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
•The First Time I Never Remember (insatiablemrw.blogspot.com)
•Transvestite nativity scandal in Rome (sexblo.gs)
•A (reluctant) spanking (lumpesse.com)
•Bloggasm is Dead. Long Live the Sugasm! (sugarbank.com)
• Business and Pleasure in the Pleasure Biz (tirepaddle.com)
•Competitive Nature (anyonesgirl.blogspot.com)
•Cornered (deltavegas.blogspot.com)
•Dumping a Client (radicalvixen.com)

Lovingly policed by Sabrina Morgan

Photo from damnjezebel.com

A new link added on 1/3/05 From Tire Paddle

I have always been intrigued by the idea of Cross Dressing but not only in the typical male to female. I have been having this growing fantasy

This would be specifically in a forced feminization session. Demand he dress the part in a nice dress with stockings, heels, wig and makeup.

Just out for drinks at the bar or a nice light supper.

Plan to meet at the restaurant, giving “her” strict instructions to not speak or acknowledge any male that approaches her or attempts to get her attention or I will know and punish her severely.
When she arrives she will scan the establishment looking for her Mistress, and not seeing Me going ahead and securing us a table as instructed. Time passes and I still do not arrive she gets nervous and worried, attempts to reach Me are met with the message I am on My way and will be there any minute.

why she broke my rule?
Why she accepted a drink from a gentleman just as I told her not to do.

She protests and tries to back peddle …

At that point she realizes that the man sitting across the room that she had caught staring at her periodically that she had been flirting with, was really her Mistress and that I had been there all the time and that she is indeed in trouble for disobeying Me.

Of course at that point I would signal a waiter and order My dinner truly enjoying her discomfort.

Once dinner is done and My enjoyment at her discomfort has been satiated. We head home, and I keep a running dialog of whats going to happen to her slutty self when we get there. That not only is she to be punished for flirting with Me before she realized it was Me but at the many looks I saw her give all the other men in the room from our waiter to the bus boys.

Once in the dungeon I pull her over My knee and spank her open handed to punish “her” for looking so hungrily at our waiters crotch for being such a needy little whore. As she squirms I lean in an whisper that the punishment was just getting started. That I was going to show her what happens to disobediant little sluts and to get up and help Me strip, I have her remove My jacket, vest, pants and hang them up for Me leaving Me in the wife beater, bra shiny underneath the white cotton. Boxers containing a nice bulge that she nervously eyes, a classic set of mens sock garters holding up vintage argyles and of course the highly polished wing tips.

I force her to her knees and have her now smeared lips take in the strap on and suck it down, giving the head of her life as the other end of the strap on dildo rides in and out of My pussy from her oral thrusting.
Once I feel she has lubed it up enough I stand her up bend her over the bench and pry open the ass cheeks, applying even more lube to the head I slowly start sliding it in. Telling her to take it like the slut she is and enjoy it. I fuck her ass as the second head in Me fucks Me back with her thrusting her ass back at Me as I grind in. Perhaps I take her shoulders in hand and thrust deep to bury it in quick succession feeling her body quiver as I give her permission to finally cum. She gasps and screams as her cock is finally acknowledged and allowed to spill its seed across the bondage table. We both rest there until I feel her breathing under me start to regulate.
At that point I pull out unstrap the harness and let the strap on fall to the ground, Taking My place in My most favorite chair to receive oral pleasure I demand she goes back to her knees and take Me over the edge with her tongue. I cum in fantastic waves as I ride her face, her make up completely worn off and wig gone. Her own dress wrinkled and covered in Her cum and mine, lube and other assorted sex juices. I look at her eyes glazed as she finally gets a moment to breathe. At that point I take her head gently into My lap and tell My little slut how proud I am of her and that she will get many more chances to prove what a little whore she can be for both her Mistress and now her Master …